B is for Being Something

I’ve never been very good at reality. I’m much better at dreaming! As a teenager, I dreamt of writing music and touring the world as a guitarist in a post-hardcore band like Alexisonfire. Although I diligently taught myself to play the guitar, and even wrote a few songs, I couldn’t take any further steps than that. I couldn’t envisage myself in that kind of scenario. I was too timid, too insecure.

Instead, I floated along the river of expectations that took me to university. One degree later, I don’t regret it in the slightest, but graduating and realising I didn’t have any plans for the future was a big shock to the system. I suddenly had to be a real adult! I’ve slowly been becoming aware that I am the only limit to myself. I find it far too easy to disintegrate into the sofa every night, and I’m still just floating along, but I’ve realised it’s up to me to craft my life into what I want it to be…