Last night I was sure that my ideas for Track 2 so far were mediocre and destined to never become anything. I was still dealing with tiny, separate fragments of music that, to me, sounded disjointed and meaningless, regardless of how I permuted them around each other.
I went in a huff. I decided it was all worthless and I would need to start again. Bear in mind that this was Sunday night, three days before the self-imposed deadline for finishing my second song. Like a stroppy child, I cast aside the corners and sides of the jigsaw that I’d started to put together, and went to look for a new puzzle to solve. I thought I would have to give up on writing an instrumental track, since I felt I had failed to create any kind of storyline to be threaded through the music, and so, feeling defiant, I picked up my pen:
there was never a moment in time
when the universe was still.
i remind myself
that i will always be part of something,
i remind myself
that there are consequences to everything,
i remind myself
that a daydream could last for a lifetime
and i should be careful of that.
Then, enough was enough, and I went to bed.
I haven’t done much with this music project lately. I’ve been having fun, being lazy, and on Saturday I was horrifically hungover. I’ve also been panicking, trying to learn about string theory and other nonsense in preparation for a short Skype chat with a potential PhD supervisor on Thursday afternoon. It’s overwhelming. I often complain that I feel like my brain’s all scrambled up because I struggle to process information. There’s the expression “can’t see the forest for the trees” but I never really understood that. To me, it should be the other way around: I see the massive forest and can’t break it down into trees.
Back to music talk. This evening I decided I should go back to the original plan and pick all my jigsaw pieces back up to smoosh them together into something. Starting from scratch would have been a terrible idea! So I played back the little recordings I’ve made and shuffled them around, drawing little jellyfish-squiggles on a piece of paper to try to organise my thoughts a little better. I tossed aside a few ideas and finally settled on the following structure:
waves/water – hello friend – sweet chords – ascending/fast – hello friend
Naming musical sections is really difficult when you don’t have verses and choruses!
What’s left to do for Track 2?
– Tweak a couple of the guitar parts that I’m not entirely happy with, and then get some good-quality recordings of them. Each little chunk of the song has two or three guitars, and I’m still not entirely sure what I want them to sound like. It’ll probably be mostly a clean, gentle sound, maybe with a little distortion at some points. I considered recording with my old, beloved classical guitar… It sounds lovely in real life but it would probably end up sounding like I was playing a shoebox with elastic bands stretched across it. Recording is hard!
– Write all of the drum and bass parts – oops! I was sure that for this track I would make these instruments really important and valuable to the song – I love a good melodic bassline – but it looks like I’m going to have to rush them.
– I suppose I also need to decide on a title! I was toying with something like “Spaceman Dreams” but I’m not sure that matches the feel of the song. Actually, I’m not sure what the feel of the song even is.
Luckily I have a week off work at the moment, so Tuesday (technically today, but I haven’t gone to bed yet) and Wednesday will be all about music! (And stressing about not being clever enough to go back to uni arghhh)